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Saturday, November 17, 2012

Packing: on Preparing to Leave

This week I packed my first box. Its full of kitchen things: pots, pans, cutting boards, kitchen knives, etc. I'm about a month and a half away from moving day, and it is time to start packing. Some things, like kitchen supplies, pack up easily. My "save for spring" clothing goes into a labeled box and is ready for my mom to mail to me later. Easy.

However, other things are more difficult. Do I really need all of my art supplies? All of my clothes? All of my blankets (seriously, why do I have so many?) Inevitably, I feel, whatever I leave behind will be the things that I most want, that will most quench the forthcoming homesickness. It seems overwhelming to think about saying good-bye to everything I know and love while simultaneously ridding my life of everything except the necessities. Its. Too. Much.

Since deciding to move, I've been tunnel-visioned looking forward. I've been dreaming about the exciting things that I would do in the East Coast, about finally closing the gap in my long-distance relationship, and about really being on my own and all of the growth that would come with that. Last night as I lay in bed, I started thinking about my day at work. I had a really wonderful day and I was given some new responsibilities. It was so odd to realize that I only had a month an a half left to work someplace that I love with such wonderful people. And, it hit me.

While logically I knew that I would be leaving, that I wouldn't see my mom all of the time, that I wouldn't be able to go out for girl's night with my pals, that I wouldn't have my favorite restaurants to visit.... it didn't really connect with me until last night. While none of that depletes all of the good things about moving, it is heartbreaking to think about leaving such a beautiful, wonderful life.

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