Last night I went to the city for dinner with a girl that Keith knows from high school and her roommate. They asked me about how I was adjusting to East Coast life, etc etc. I asked Rachel (the roommate) the same and she talked a lot about how her situation was so different than mine. She had always dreamed of living in New York, did a US student exchange here once, and even learning and discovering the city was so exciting because she was accomplishing her dream. Fast forward to later in the evening. Jen and I grabbed shamrock shakes at McDs (theyyy're backk!) after Rachel headed home. While talking, she mentioned that I seem uninvested.
At first I shrugged it off; but, that word has been percolating in my mind since she mentioned it. Maybe she's right.
I've been having doubts about the direction my education is heading in. I've been withdrawn from opportunities to make friends. Its not a conscious decision that I've been making. Rather, its the easiest option. Its easy to stay in my apartment and dream about decorating. Its easy to go to the same coffee shop, grocery store, etc. Its easy to daydream about a different future.
Its hard to go to new places. Its hard to start conversations with your classmates. Its hard to begin new friendships. Its hard to invest in a future that you probably wouldn't have chosen if the circumstances were different.
So, to my list of goals for February, I add this challenge: to invest in this life. To talk to my classmates. To invite people that I know to do things with me. To put effort into this life, outside of my apartment walls.